My journey or “second life” began on June 11, 2012 at 8:45PM — the moment I’ve realized that I’ve lost Derek — my best friend, true love and soul mate suddenly and unexpectedly.
How would I have described my life if I had met you prior to 8:45PM that evening? I would have said that I was a seasoned marketer, working at an amazing job, who holds a degree in International Relations with a language proficiency in Japanese (remind me one day to tell you the story of how I transitioned from national security to marketing strategy). In my life I’ve also been a DJ, an Interior Designer, Crafter, Cook and avid Video Gamer. One of my closest friends coined me with the moniker of “Modern-day Michelangela.” More importantly, I had the love of an AMAZING man.
However, I would have also shared with you that the life I had was considered a miracle. I lost my mother as a young child and took on the immediate role as best friend and care giver for my maternal grandmother. By the time I was 30 years old, I had lost both parents, all of my grandparents, an aunt, uncles and a host of other family members. I couldn’t understand what I did to God in order to experience such suffering however was thankful that the experience didn’t ruin me. I felt God gave me a gift when I met Derek and learned the true meaning of loving selflessly.
Derek’s departure from this life is still new and with all of the raw emotions, denial, guilt and pain of grief. However as you read through my stories, you will know as I do that he didn’t want me to give up and that God does not give us what we can’t handle. And with that in mind, I move toward this difficult and painful healing process. I’ve started this blog as a way to provide myself creative therapy, meditation, as well as a platform to connect with new people and moments as if he were living through me.
Now, I write about my ongoing journey to finding the calmness through the chaos. Thank you in advance for reading and walking with me.